what i want to be when i grow up

i read an entry of one of my contacts about "growing up". in his case, it's more about the pressures of acting "grown up" the way society dictates. for my part (at least externally and except for the fact that i'm not yet married), i think i've pretty much conformed to this society's standards of a normal adult.

ironically, i don't feel like i've grown up just yet. they say you have to look back to your childhood dreams to know what it is that you want in life. couldn't be more true. i probably won't feel that i've "grown up" unless i become i've the person(s) i wanted to be as a child, back when there was no need for money and society's approval to keep you. and that is why the title is deliberately in present tense.

here they are in no particular order:
*1. writer
2. an artist of whatever form
*3. musician
*4. architect
*5. interior decorator
* 6. museum curator
7. veterinarian
* 8. detective

i've spent my early 20s in a cliche of a crisis and the latter part in a sort of a defeatist mode that the above can't be done. my biggest issue was: never did one of these dreams die down as i grew older. since the time i chose my college course, i subconsciously felt that if i fulfilled one dream, i will lose the others. and so i chose none of the above.

that has changed. i think i can pretty much be all of the above. for one, the closest thing to my job right now is #8. that is why out of the list, i find no unsatisfied craving in this area, and thus marked with *, indicating "done". (there are plenty of whodunnit movies out there that very well covers this, anyway.) number 6, too, i've done something about when i took a respite from work 6 years ago. the rest is a work in progress, some you could even say semi-fulfilled. the others, barely marked yet but i have action plans lined up.

so i guess my parents don't have to worry about me now. i'm growing up fine after all.