{In Case You Stumble Upon This} This Is Me Saying Thanks, Stranger!

Early last week there was an Oprah episode about rudeness, which also promoted a book discussing the same (though more of the opposite). This modern age of hurriedness and impersonality does need reminders like these – going back to the basic Good Manners and Right Conduct in relating to people. Manners, after all, as is the concept of being a lady and a gentleman, should be taken as neither something superficial nor archaic. In its sincere form, civility is simply, respect and kindness – ergo, is never outdated.

Incidentally, a case in point was my very experience the night before that. I was walking back to my car with a couple of grocery bags in hand at a mall’s basement parking, when I noticed that another car was kind of blocking mine. Now this parking level had a rather irregular layout at the area near the supermarket. There were slots lined up along a narrow corner (where my car was), and in front of these were slots amply accommodating only a couple more cars. I’ve parked here a few times before and never saw a potential problem because there were lines on the floor and sometimes guards/carwash boys to guide drivers. This wayward car, however, has parked itself beside the “legal” slots in front – probably out of ignorance or, more likely, laziness to find a proper space. The driver probably thought the cars along the corner will have enough room to maneuver their way out anyway. Yeah, technically, there was some room. Which would've been comfortable to drive out of if we were all driving Smart cars, are used to parking in the streets of Divisoria and aren't girls whose autos lack power steering. Great.

Meanwhile a guy was walking ahead of me and was quietly staring at the same car with the same look of disbelief. Oh, he’s parked along the corner, too. Worse – his car faced the wall and he now has to back it up and turn very carefully so as not to hit this idiot. I put my grocery bags in the car but stayed outside to assess my predicament. Then I watched as the guy backed up the tight space. There was a threateningly sharp curve on the way out – I didn’t want to end up trapped there but if this guy’s sedan can fit, so could mine. I walked closer anyway to check the difficulty level and waited.

It was a good thing I had my car backed up against the wall and ready to cruise, for the guy was reversing in tiny increments and kept opening his door to check how close to a fender-bender he was getting. I probably distracted him with the hovering (and not helping) that he stepped out of his car to check on me. We shared an exasperated look and shook our heads in the direction of the errant parker. After asking a twice if I could manage and me assuring him I’ll be totally okay if he gets out of there in one piece, he resumed his drudgery. A few more forward and backward maneuvering (that had it been me and my pawis steering would’ve resulted to arms as toned as Michelle Obama's in no time), he got through, scot-free.

Then it was my turn. Compared to the guy, I had a breeze. I noticed he stayed anyway and pulled over to another aisle to let me head to the exit first. He got out and had a word with the too-late-the-heroine lady guard who just walked in, who apologized to both of us for letting this happen on her watch. I tell myself, awwwwwwww, what a decent chap. So extra-mile decent that ironically, in my amazement, I may have forgotten my own manners a bit. I remember waving thanks before I drove off but on hindsight, I’m now unsure if he caught that. Hence, this ode of sorts is in lieu of a proper thanks.

In the show, Oprah/PM Forni quoted Peggy Tabor Millin,

“We never touch people so lightly that we do not leave a trace.”

to emphasize how the slightest rudeness can affect us. But so can a simple act of kindness – moreso even. That’s what I’m thanking you mostly for, stranger, for that reminder that it does make a lot of difference. And for that I should try to put a smile on someone's face more often.