dream diary #112: the guillotine

"... I'll show you how dreams are prepared. People think it's a very simple and easy process but it's a bit more complicated than that. As you can see, a very delicate combination of complex ingredients is the key. First, we put in some random thoughts. And then, we add a little bit of reminiscences of the day... mixed with some memories from the past."
- Stephane from The Science of Sleep

I have read one dream dictionary in the past, when I was but a teenager. It was Freudian and had nothing but interpretations for all different kinds of phallic images - I threw it away immediately. As I grew older and recalled many vivid stories from my REM states, I have learned that a dream can be interpreted by the dreamer alone, and as Gael Garcia Bernal's character said in that movie, they are always in the context of: (1)what is happening around him, (2)his past, (3)his feelings (especially repressed ones) and anxieties. the dream thus can just be (a)a mixture of images pertaining to what is happening around him, what activities he is anticipating or dreading, or (b)symbols of what he is feeling.

On occasions, I immediately know what a dream means the moment I wake up. On some, it dawns on me at a later time. Some I don't bother deciphering but record anyway for their potential artistic value.

This morning's was rather disturbing because it was of me literally losing my head. I was sentenced to treason of which beheading was the punishment. I felt the blade slice my neck but I must either have fainted or severed the nerves before my brain registered the pain because I didn't feel any. The next thing I knew I was watching my own life.

And now here I am googling it.
One website says: "To be decapitated in your dream may mean that there is a strong conflict between reason (the head) and how you feel (the body), which may eventually be won by your feelings and emotions.

The head is the symbol for reason and rational thinking; therefore, if it is removed, you will not be able to think clearly, you are going to be confused and insecure. Do not let yourself ruled by your feelings or your subconscious, try to 'keep your head', do not act before you think and don't rush in when taking a decision.

Another says: "... punishment, punishing ourselves, unconsciously, as a result of guilt feelings or emotions. The dream may be showing you a negative pattern in your life that needs to be death [sic] with. It could also symbolize a need to get free of a too dominating head-you rely too much on your intellect and neglect your instincts."

And another: "... can mean you are feeling like your identity is being threatened in real life. The head would represent your personality, or who you are."

Yikes, the interpretation is much more disturbing than the dream itself. Actually, writing it in idiom form a few paragraphs back already hit bull's eye, but acknowledging what it means - means opening this Pandora's Box once again. Should I? Is there hope at the bottom of it?